- We all lie from time to time, but there are some people who make a habit of it—these are compulsive liars, and they can cause serious harm to themselves as well as the people around them.
- If you’re a compulsive or pathological liar, the good news is that you can work to change this bad habit; the first step is to recognize that you have a problem
- The following might signify that you have a compulsive lying problem: you lie continuously, you have an internal motivation for lying, and your lies paint you in a positive light.
- A mental health professional can help you understand why you lie compulsively as well as work on changing this bad habit.
- While lying is a bad habit to engage in, it can make for entertaining television—shows like Pretty Little Liars and Big Little Lies gained dedicated followings.
When I was a teenager, absurd stories swept through the halls about a girl at another school—let’s call her Allison—who was notorious for lying. I shook off most of the stories as dumb rumors that some bored kid probably made up, until one outrageous story was verified by a county-wide lockdown. It was just another dull day in math class when an unpleasant alarm began to echo throughout the building. The principal came on the loud speaker, recited a code, and we were all kept inside for the rest of the day.
We were all confused about what happened and didn’t find out until a couples days later: a man reportedly snuck into the other middle school in our county and threatened a female student. Police infiltrated the school and stood guard at ours, as they searched for the culprit. After hours of being on lockdown, Allison—the notorious compulsive liar—admitted to fabricating the entire story.
As you can see, compulsive (or habitual) lying can have serious implications on others. But the thing is, as with most habits, it’s hard to break this cycle once you enter it. That said, nothing’s impossible—and the first step in breaking a bad habit is recognizing that there’s a need for change. So, let’s start by learning the signs of compulsive lying.
4 Signs You Are a Compulsive Liar
We all lie or stretch the truth from time to time but compulsive lying is a different story, as it is classified as a mental disorder. Additionally, it can signify another disorder or condition like bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, or narcissistic personality disorder. The following are a few signs you’re engaging in compulsive lying:
1. The lies are believable and may even be partly true. For example, an individual may say that they’re deathly ill when really they just have a cold.
2. The lies continue over a long period of time and are not due to an immediate stressor. A person who consistently lies about their weight or age due to insecurities would not be described as a compulsive liar.
3. The lies have an internal motivation. For example, Allison made up the big lie about being threatened at school in order to fulfill an inner desire for attention.
4. The lies typically present the individual in a positive light. Usually compulsive liars will lie in order to make themselves look better.
Treatment for Compulsive Lying
After the lockdown incident, Allison was forced to meet with a school counselor once a week. And it proved effective, as she learned to break her compulsive lying habit. In fact, meeting with a mental health professional consistently proves to help compulsive liars. That said, it can’t be effective if the individual doesn’t first realize and acknowledge that they have a problem.
Additionally, treatment can be difficult if the person carries their compulsive lying habits into the office and lies to their counselor or therapist. So, if you’re someone who battles the urge to lie, allow yourself to completely open up in order to successfully defeat it.
Lying: Bad for Reality, Great for Television
Some pretty great TV shows have plotlines centered around a lie or a heap of lies and mystery. These include shows like the ABC Family hit Pretty Little Liars and HBO miniseries Big Little Lies. In each of these series, the main characters are tangled up in lies that ultimately bring them closer together, while isolating them from others. They are constantly lying to cover their tracks and keep their secrets hidden from the world.
But are these characters compulsive liars? Nope—remember, compulsive liars are not individuals lying due to immediate stressors. Aria, Hannah Spencer, and Emily in Pretty Little Liars are only lying in order to protect themselves as well as their loved ones from possible danger. And the women in Big Little Lies—Celeste, Renata, Bonnie, Madeline, and Jane—decide to lie in order to protect Bonnie and bury their troubling pasts. Therefore, they aren’t compulsive liars, but rather women caught in sticky situations that make for some pretty entertaining television.
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in primary school, i used to lie a lot, saying that my real name was this, i had a sister, brother, adopted baby sister, i made up backstories, all to make myself seem more interesting, or because i wanted more siblings. i did that all the way up to year 7 (6th grade), which is when my lying impulses died down.
now, after finding a new group of friends at high school, i’ve found myself lying more. saying i’m part (insert race here) when i’m not, saying i have lizards, a sister who is actually my half-sister’s half-sister, saying that a boy i used to like is making moves on me, lying to make myself seem more interesting, i suppose. i recently realised what i have been doing, and had a breakdown. i need to stop. it’s not good, nor healthy. i need to stop lying. thank you for reading, i guess. 🙂
i wish you all good health and spirit. 🙂
i am not sure if i am a pathological liar , however i am terrible at time keeping so sometimes i lie to cover up the fact that i am late or lie about how far i am . i also lied to my friends that i did two exams however i didnt do them , this first lie made me lie again about the grades i got in those exams . however i am trying to right my wrongs .
I’m 20 and have been doing this since 3rd grade. I’ve lied from having cancer, living in different countries, being molested, changing my racial background, to feel smarter, prettier, valued and validated in all aspects that will please everyone-almost getting into legal trouble over my lies. It started being in all white schools that were racist as well and I didn’t feel good enough. College was my first experience of being around diversity but my mind is shaped in a lie that I’m a suddenly person who is superior than everything else. Lately I’ve got a therapist and try to journal the amount of lies each day is maybe over a dozen times, especially with my mother I can’t stop. I don’t want her to think I’m a nobody or a failure. I’m so afraid of not accomplishing my art and being successful. The lies build onto my depression and stress where I stop enjoying my art or lack my focus on work and think about all the regret of lies I’ve spoken that day or week. I just feel a disdain for my life and believe in this ideal world I wish all was right for me but it’s not real… I never had friends bc I lied to them and my intimate relationships neither due to Being caught in lies. I just don’t want people to know I’m not an interesting person. I talk like I’m smart but I’m not nor am I attractive but act like I’m a hot commodity. I’m annoyed with my own damn self …lol. When my mania is high I could lie in my happy moments and when depressed I lie when I’m sad, it’s like I can’t have a moment of sanity with myself. It’s good to see others who suffer with this problem, I feel so messed up. I can’t imagine telling my mother everything I’ve made up, I couldn’t live with that…
We’re so sorry to read what you’re going through. If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts, or thinking about hurting yourself or others, please seek immediate help. Call 911, go to your closest emergency room, or call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-8255. You can also visit their website at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org. This national network of local crisis centers provides free support, and someone is always available to talk.
You can also find a list of other helpful resources here, such as the Crisis Text Line, National Domestic Violence Hotline, and more. Remember, life can get better with the right help. https://twx.atlantacounseling.com/immediate-help/