- We all lie from time to time, but there are some people who make a habit of it—these are compulsive liars, and they can cause serious harm to themselves as well as the people around them.
- If you’re a compulsive or pathological liar, the good news is that you can work to change this bad habit; the first step is to recognize that you have a problem
- The following might signify that you have a compulsive lying problem: you lie continuously, you have an internal motivation for lying, and your lies paint you in a positive light.
- A mental health professional can help you understand why you lie compulsively as well as work on changing this bad habit.
- While lying is a bad habit to engage in, it can make for entertaining television—shows like Pretty Little Liars and Big Little Lies gained dedicated followings.
When I was a teenager, absurd stories swept through the halls about a girl at another school—let’s call her Allison—who was notorious for lying. I shook off most of the stories as dumb rumors that some bored kid probably made up, until one outrageous story was verified by a county-wide lockdown. It was just another dull day in math class when an unpleasant alarm began to echo throughout the building. The principal came on the loud speaker, recited a code, and we were all kept inside for the rest of the day.
We were all confused about what happened and didn’t find out until a couples days later: a man reportedly snuck into the other middle school in our county and threatened a female student. Police infiltrated the school and stood guard at ours, as they searched for the culprit. After hours of being on lockdown, Allison—the notorious compulsive liar—admitted to fabricating the entire story.
As you can see, compulsive (or habitual) lying can have serious implications on others. But the thing is, as with most habits, it’s hard to break this cycle once you enter it. That said, nothing’s impossible—and the first step in breaking a bad habit is recognizing that there’s a need for change. So, let’s start by learning the signs of compulsive lying.
4 Signs You Are a Compulsive Liar
We all lie or stretch the truth from time to time but compulsive lying is a different story, as it is classified as a mental disorder. Additionally, it can signify another disorder or condition like bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, or narcissistic personality disorder. The following are a few signs you’re engaging in compulsive lying:
1. The lies are believable and may even be partly true. For example, an individual may say that they’re deathly ill when really they just have a cold.
2. The lies continue over a long period of time and are not due to an immediate stressor. A person who consistently lies about their weight or age due to insecurities would not be described as a compulsive liar.
3. The lies have an internal motivation. For example, Allison made up the big lie about being threatened at school in order to fulfill an inner desire for attention.
4. The lies typically present the individual in a positive light. Usually compulsive liars will lie in order to make themselves look better.
Treatment for Compulsive Lying
After the lockdown incident, Allison was forced to meet with a school counselor once a week. And it proved effective, as she learned to break her compulsive lying habit. In fact, meeting with a mental health professional consistently proves to help compulsive liars. That said, it can’t be effective if the individual doesn’t first realize and acknowledge that they have a problem.
Additionally, treatment can be difficult if the person carries their compulsive lying habits into the office and lies to their counselor or therapist. So, if you’re someone who battles the urge to lie, allow yourself to completely open up in order to successfully defeat it.
Lying: Bad for Reality, Great for Television
Some pretty great TV shows have plotlines centered around a lie or a heap of lies and mystery. These include shows like the ABC Family hit Pretty Little Liars and HBO miniseries Big Little Lies. In each of these series, the main characters are tangled up in lies that ultimately bring them closer together, while isolating them from others. They are constantly lying to cover their tracks and keep their secrets hidden from the world.
But are these characters compulsive liars? Nope—remember, compulsive liars are not individuals lying due to immediate stressors. Aria, Hannah Spencer, and Emily in Pretty Little Liars are only lying in order to protect themselves as well as their loved ones from possible danger. And the women in Big Little Lies—Celeste, Renata, Bonnie, Madeline, and Jane—decide to lie in order to protect Bonnie and bury their troubling pasts. Therefore, they aren’t compulsive liars, but rather women caught in sticky situations that make for some pretty entertaining television.
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I’m a huge liar. I lie about things so small and when I lie the lies become bigger and bigger. I don’t know if this makes sense but it’s like I’m not deliberately deceiving others it just happens. It’s like I don’t think when I lie.
I’m literally such a big liar too. Like a lot of the times its to my family but like i don’t even think about others, myself, i just do it. And I don’t exactly regret it either until someone calls me out for it or catches me and yells at me. I lie about school and doing work so much, but the problem is that i actually do care about school, I just don;t want to do the work. I’ll end up learning everything but no putting in any effort and lying about doing the work. I don’t know if I’m a compulsive liar and its really affecting me and people close to me. What can I do to fix it because every time I talk about this with my family they just say stuff that doesn’t really help and I think I need professional help.
i’m 14, i think i have a lying problem. i can’t stop it.
but it’s not for my own sake, rather for the sake of people around me. i lie about my mental health and well-being because i dislike when people worry about me being upset or being mentally unwell. i don’t like the attention, i just want to live normally and quietly without people worrying and pitying me for my minor inconveniences.
an example is me lying to my boyfriend about whether i’m hurt, or if i’m upset at him about something he did or is doing. in the end i just blame myself or let my anger or sadness build up inside me. i do this because i don’t think my problems or my happiness/sadness really matters, that i have no reason to rant or vent or really show when i’m down because everyone gets sad. why am i special?
so i just shut it in.
I need help, (I think that is.) I’m not sure if I’m just really good at lying or I’m a compulsive/pathological liar. I’ve managed to convince everyone I know that I’m really bad at lying. The reason for this is so that they can believe almost anything I say. It wasn’t hard to get people to think I’m a bad liar at all. I make up stories all the time, majority of which are half true. If I decide to tell a story about something that happened to someone else, I’d probably change the name of that person to my own name. If I was asked if said story happened to me, I’d answer the question honestly, but I’d make it seem like it happened to me. This might just be normal behaviour and me overreacting, but in my opinion some the things I’ve lied about seem hard for others to lie about. If I really am a compulsive/pathological liar, I’d really like to find out why. Sorry if this didn’t make any sense though. I’m writing this at 1am, half-asleep, and I’m not very good at English anyways. Also sorry if I seem cocky or anything like that, I’m just trying to be honest because if I need any help, I’d like to get some. If my age helps with anything, I’m 12