Carl Rogers, the founder of humanistic psychotherapy (non-directive therapy) talks about the power of listening to feelings, and reflecting them back to clients, in therapy (and in relationships in general).
Dr. Rogers states,
We give too little importance and consideration to an element which is extremely important…
It is one of the most delicate and important tools that we have [and I’m surprised by how rarely we see it].
Rogers describes that he was surprised when we learned that “simply listening” to clients “very attentively” was an important part of being helpful…in his opinion, it seemed preposterous at first that such a passive thing could be so useful.
But he soon learned that the non-directive approach to therapy was not “passive.” Rogers describes that the most effective listening is when you (1) listen for the feelings and emotions concealed behind a person’s (client’s) words, then (2) find “patterns of feeling” behind the words of the person, and then (3) reflect back to the person (or client) that you understand both what they are saying, and what they are feeling.
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Anthony Centore
I am a Student Success Coach at Oklahoma State University, and have been reading up on Carl Rogers and his work, giving special interest to his thoughts on empathy. I have recently read the paper which appears to be the basic transcript of this video, and am so struck by the implications and relevance of Rogers’ work in the field of personal (non-athletic) coaching. It is so fun to see Rogers in this video, and hear his voice and his inflections, after having read this piece on my own. Thank you for making this available!