Your excuses for not trying counseling may not be as solid as you think.
In no particular order, we’ve heard the following excuses for not going to counseling a lot.
Most times, however, it simply comes down to this: If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way.
Otherwise, you’ll find an excuse.
1. It’s my problem. I alone can fix it.
Most people who come to counseling are smart, bright individuals that are strong enough to ask for help. One of the smartest things that we can do is ask for help when we really need it.
2. If I need counseling, then it is probably unfixable.
This is completely false but easy to believe. Some people are honestly hesitant about counseling because they honestly don’t believe that the experience will do them any good. The truth is, however, that many people walk away from counseling sessions feeling empowered. It just takes time and patience.
3. Counseling didn’t work for me.
This excuse depends largely on the client and not the clinician. For example, if a doctor tells you to avoid red meats to help your cholesterol, and all you do is eat red meat, the problem is not the doctor. When you visit a counselor, go into the session with an open mind. Counselors are professionals who are trained to help you in a variety of ways, but it won’t do you much good if you ignore what they have to say.
4. Counselors just want to put you on medication.
Again, this is not true. Counselors and therapists cannot prescribe medication – thus they cannot put you on medication (only a psychiatrist can).
5. Counseling is for crazy people.
Counseling is for those that need help and for anyone who wants more out of life. We all have unique pasts and personalities that shape who we are today, which means that what you’re struggling with right now is shared by other individuals around the world.
6. It will be awkward.
You will never know until you try. Counseling is less awkward than a blind date (usually), in that the person you’re meeting with already has your best interests in mind. It’s more like sitting down with a friend, rather than a stranger.
7. I can’t afford counseling.
You can, especially if you have insurance. Most of the time, practices will accept great plans that will only leave you with the copay.
8. I don’t want to.
I would love to help here, but this excuse is in your hands. Counseling can help you become a stronger, healthier individual personally and in your relationships, but you have to take the first step. Keep in mind that some of the best things we do in life come from doing things we didn’t feel like doing at first.
9. I can’t miss work to go see a counselor.
Did you know that most counselors have night appointments?
10. I don’t want to tell people I am seeing a counselor.
You don’t have too! HIPAA protects your privacy.
11. There is no counselor near me.
Counselors are everywhere! Just Google {Your City} + Counseling… You will almost certainly find a list of great options.
12. I am too old to change.
No one is too old for making positive changes in their life.
Did I miss any other excuses? Be sure to sound off any you can think of in the comments!
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Yes, Nicole. You are correct, in that it can be hard to try again; but this is your healthcare. The choice is yours. Don’t let an encounter with a therapist you didn’t jive with (or was really crappy) be the reason you don’t get help. There are many different approaches to therapy and each therapist has their own personality (yes, even therapists have personalities). As a therapist for over 17 years, some of my clients disappear after one or two sessions and refuse to return my calls and others have said they would never see another therapist but me. It’s not always someone’s fault, it’s just a mismatch. Don’t give up on therapy if you are living with distress.
Number 3 is a lie. If it doesn’t work it also could mean that the therapist didn’t do a good job. There are some therapists that you just can’t work with and if you have had a bad therapist like I did, then it would be hard to go back to another one. So you shouldn’t put the blame solely on us. It takes two to tango.