Starve the Ego, Feed The Soul Challenge
Oftentimes we identify an area of life or a personality that could use some improvement, right? So we discuss what needs to take place to replace it, or alter it. And so a vow is made to change it for the better. And sometimes that works…for a little while…and sometimes the old habit/behavior/ reaction/ trigger shows back up again. Still alive and well. So how do we stop that and make a true, more lasting change for the better? It’s popular belief that to change or improve a not-so-great habit/behavior, it takes 21 days of practicing the new, healthier behavior. Well, I researched this and it’s not exactly the most accurate timeframe. So what is?
Well, it varies dependent upon the person and the task at hand obviously. Without getting into philosophic and therapeutic discussions and going off in different directions, let’s stick to a basic foundational element: Training. Yes, training. Some research indicates it takes an average of 66 days of deliberately practicing a new action/habit for it to replace the old one. So I thought I’d put that to the test. Along with a few friends, family, and clients (and even some people I’ve never met!), I am taking on a challenge. Please feel free to join us in what will hopefully establish a healthier “habit” of reacting to life in a way that better serves our true selves than it does the ego.
What Is The Starve the Ego, Feed the Soul Challenge?
I think I first heard, “starve the ego, feed the soul” on the Dalai Lama’s Twitter feed of all places! But I could be wrong. Wherever it came from, this saying returned to my mind during a session with one of my clients. In my car ride home, I reflected more on this. Personally, I was not thrilled with how I had recently reacted to some events in my own life—I did not handle them as well as I’d like to have. I felt more anger, defense, stubbornness, and pain than was ideal, that’s for sure. So what was going on? Then it hit me: I was listening to my ego and letting it take over. NOT the best idea.
In our current world we so often react to what goes around us in a way that is not good for us. We are taught to “look out for number one” and “don’t trust anybody but yourself” and the like. But in doing so, are we also acting in a way that doesn’t ultimately bring about peace, acceptance, love, happiness? Over-indulging on defensiveness, self-preservation, pride, lust, stubbornness, anger, pain, or materialism feeds our “ego” and in turn starves our soul. And while that may feel good or relieving in a moment, ultimately it is not. Basically what we are doing is separating ourselves from what will truly bring about inner peace, confidence, and happiness.
Join the Starve the Ego, Feed the Soul Challenge Today!
Starting today, we will embark upon a journey of two months’ worth of deliberate steps and actions to better serve our souls and deny the selfish ego…each and every day. One person might recognize he is materialistic and pause mid-purchase, remember to starve the ego, and return his unnecessary new iPhone to the store shelf. Another person might make the decision to pick up the phone to forgive her best friend for an argument they’d had. A mom may choose to not utter the critique to her daughter that was about to come out of her mouth. A husband might think to smile and compliment his wife’s support and encouragement at the end of his long work day instead of rolling over in bed to go straight to sleep.
The goal is to foster mindfulness and divert focus away from the ego-serving reactions and behaviors that ultimately stand between lasting peace, confidence, and joy. As I like to say, we cannot always control the raging storm around us and to try to do so is often misplaced effort and anxiety—but while it rages toward and around us, we do have the ability to remain true to ourselves and be the calm in the storm. Whatever might be in the way of that calm must be addressed. Perhaps taking two months of deliberate action to starve the ego will help to establish a new norm.
Join the Starve the Ego, Feed the Soul Challenge Today!
Together we can accomplish great things!
We welcome you to join us on this spiritual journey and we would love to be updated about your progress as we embark on the next 30 days together. Please feel free to journal your thoughts and discoveries using the comments area below with the community!
Join the Starve the Ego Feed the Soul Challenge today and let’s go on a journey to discover the greatness that lies within us together.
Next: Starve the Ego Feed the Soul Plan
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Love to know there are good souls out there or I wouldn’t have found this site. Thought I should share this.. I have had a problem with anger in myself since childhood and would be enraged if I just dropped something…could not understand why this existed into my adulthood even entering my early fifties. Have read numerous amounts of books in the religious and self help areas but still found myself mad when I failed at something. Then I had the realization that the ego has been in control always and even if I fed my soul (helping others and staying on a good path) my ego seem to want more. This is when I realized that all my frustrations, fears, negative emotions were the result of my ego taking the front row of importance throughout my life. I have now taken steps to stop that ego child in me. So now anytime I feel fear, anger or any other ego driven emotion in me I just smile and know that egos are never satisfied and create a false sense of low self esteem. When the ego is ready to help then it will be welcome, but if not, then it will be ignored for the next 2 months to the rest of my life. The world is full of wonderful souls and this site proves it. Thank you for making the would a better place
Hi Curtiss,
Anthony may weigh in as well, but I just wanted to comment as well:
-In my research I found that studies indicate new habit formation even when participants forgot a day or two here or there. So keeping that in mind, it’s not necessary for one to beat himself up too much if he realizes on Tuesday that he forgot something Monday 🙂
-Accountability on a project such as this is a great help. For instance, I’m doing the challenge as well as several of my clients, friends, and family members (to include people I’ve never met in person!) so that keeps us on track more than if we did it alone.
-I’ve heard from people who would rarely if ever be making decisions the way they are once they begin the challenge. It’s at the forefront of their mind daily, so when an opportunity pops up—they seize the moment as their “ego starvation” moment where normally they may not have recognized it as a special moment of decision. Powerful stuff! 🙂
-The positive reinforcement of acts of kindness, etc. will do just that—positively reinforce. So as you know, we are creatures of training. So that in and of itself for an extended amount of time will likely shape someone’s behavior and decision-making in some way.
-Since we tend to pay attention to differences/changes in order to see what happens out of curiosity, when positive things happen as a result of the “starve the ego” decision it will be noticed. Sure, this won’t always be the case but given the nature of the challenge it is more likely than a negative result.
Natosha
Dr. Centore,
I love the cognitive approach of this challenge! I am a huge fan of the training model for self improvement so this is right up my alley. I was wondering a little more about the mid-flight corrections we might make when we notice we are a little of course on our “Ego fasting” journey. It is so common to beat ourselves up when we feel like we are failing when in truth we might actually be learning! Your thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated.
Curtiss