Counseling in Sterling, VA—Therapy for Adultery, Infidelity, and Cheating

Have you ever heard these lyrics that describe a cheating boyfriend?

“Right now, he’s probably slow dancing with a bleached-blond tramp, and she’s probably getting frisky…”

More likely than not, you have heard Carrie Underwood sing that line. “Before He Cheats” is one of the most popular country songs of all time. The song describes the revenge a woman takes on her significant other after finding out about his infidelity. Carrie Underwood captures the intensity of adultery.

Adultery. Cheating. Infidelity. An affair. Regardless of which word people use, it will always have significant repercussions in the life of those who cheat and those who are cheated on. Discovering that a partner or spouse has committed adultery is often a traumatic experience. While it can be cathartic to sing about keying a cheater’s car, a counselor can help a couple find healthier and more helpful responses, whether they continue the relationship or whether they split up.

The therapists at Thriveworks Sterling get how traumatizing adultery can be, and they have guided couples as they find their way forward, whatever their relationships goals may be.

The Many Shades of Infidelity

Infidelity might seem like a straightforward concept: someone breaks the expectations formed within a committed, long-term relationship. The reality of infidelity, unfortunately, can be significantly more complex. To help couples understand what may have happened, therapists have grouped infidelity into different types:

• An emotional affair: Close friendships are not emotional affairs. Friendships usually help and support the couple, but emotional affair hinder a person’s connection with their significant other. Emotional affairs are not physically sexual, but they can include flirting, secrets, innuendo, and fantasy.
• A sexual affair: An affair can also have little to no emotional element, including one-night stands, visiting a strip-club, pornography use, soliciting a prostitute, and more. The person whose infidelity involves these may also struggle with a sexual addiction.
• A sexual and emotional affair: Infidelity can also involve both a sexual and an emotional component. Often, long-term affairs begin as an emotional affair and then turn sexual.

Why Might Someone Cheat?

Excuses for infidelity might be common, but they are rarely helpful for the spouse who cheated or the uninvolved spouse. The truth is, infidelity is a choice, and it is hurtful regardless of the reasons or circumstances that lead to it.

Nonetheless, understanding the context in which the infidelity occurred can be helpful for determining a path toward healing. Discovering what led to the adultery can give people invaluable information to make important decisions about how to reconcile or whether to pursue a divorce. Therapists often speak of the two contexts that may lead to a person cheating.

• Shortfall – This is a more internal reason for committing adultery. In this context, a spouse may believe the affair will fulfill a perceived or real deficit in their marriage, the uninvolved spouse, or themselves. To reconcile after infidelity because of a perceived or real shortfall, the person who committed adultery may need to pursue Cognitive Behavior Therapy to adjust negative thought patterns and learn healthy coping mechanisms.
• Circumstantial – This is a more external reason for infidelity. Certain circumstances may make the choice to commit adultery easier. Spouses may need to look at why and how the illicit relationship formed. For example, many people meet the person they commit adultery with at work or have one-night stands while traveling. To reconcile after infidelity under these circumstances, the person who committed adultery may need boundaries and accountability.

Of course, people often conduct affairs that mix circumstantial and shortfall reasons. Whatever may have led to the affair, infidelity almost always brings devastation. A counselor may be able to guide the couple through the chaos, whether they separate, reconcile, or divorce.

Infidelity Counseling at Thriveworks Sterling, VA

Seeking counseling after infidelity is a difficult decision. Talking about an intimate betrayal can be scary, but reaching out for help may be what you or your spouse needs.

The counselors at Thriveworks Sterling understand how hard it can be to make the call. We know that you are dealing with enough without having to put up with the hassle of scheduling therapy. We have worked to make scheduling an appointment as easy as possible.
If you call Thriveworks Sterling, VA know that you can expect to be cared for from the first time you dial our number. Here are a few other things to expect…

1. A scheduling specialist (i.e., a person) will answer your call and schedule your appointment.
2. You may be able to see your therapist within 24 hours, even if you are a first-time client.
3. We will not put you on a waitlist because we do not have one.
4. Our counselors accept many insurance companies.

Infidelity is not the end. It can be the beginning of a renewed relationship or a new, fulfilling future. Are you ready for a better tomorrow? Call today to schedule your appointment for infidelity counseling.