I completely forgive her and know she did what was right, but how do I forgive myself for losing the love of my life?

Hi Patrick, My name is Jane. I read your letter and I hear your feeling defeat, I am now 70, Once, I was 26, To start, I want to se?tell you that time truly doers heal…if we allow that. Can you. believe in the future and in the unknown? Are you curious as to how your life will go? Don’t be afraid my friend, talk to your pain, talk to what you feel guilt and shame about. What is the response? Take it easy ,my friend

i’ve done many bad things in my life in the past and i regret everything i’ve done . as of now i’m in the process of moving on from the past and starting a fresh new start with my life . i’ve learned from my mistakes and i know not do fo them again. i was 15 and this was a few months ago.. but the guilt just hit me now .. and i’m starting to realize what i’ve done .. and i’ve also been constantly hurting my girlfriend emotionally by the things i’ve been doing.. and i regret everything.. i’m starting to forgive for what i’ve done … i regret everything and i’m very guilty for what i have done .. i hope the best for everyone else who is feeling guilty , ashamed and regret something.. .. you can get through this . don’t hurt yourself .. and lot let your mind take over you.

We’re so sorry to read what you’re going through. If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts, or thinking about hurting yourself or others, please seek immediate help. Call 911, go to your closest emergency room, or call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-8255. You can also visit their website at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org. This national network of local crisis centers provides free support, and someone is always available to talk.

You can also find a list of other helpful resources here, such as the Crisis Text Line, National Domestic Violence Hotline, and more. Remember, life can get better with the right help. https://twx.atlantacounseling.com/immediate-help/

But I need to move on, feeling anxious about this for weeks isn’t going to bring the money back and will only make my mental health go downhill.
So uh… day one of moving on I guess?

I’m honestly more surprised at how anxious it has made me. It’s “only” money after all. It’s not my passport or something that’s not mine to begin with.

I was depressed and felt extremely alone. My co-worker and I became very close and they knew what was happening at home. They knew my sadness and loneliness. They offered me solace in sex that would happen once so I could feel something again. We agreed we’d never speak of it ever again. I felt good during that moment. We never went past that one time and we never spoke of it again.

I didn’t feel guilty during that time because I felt it was something I needed and my spouse gave me permission. Years later (my spouse and I are still together) we found out the changes in them was due to the medication they were on. It was a side effect we weren’t aware could happen. Once they stopped taking the medication they became the person I married again. When they came back to me was when the guilt started filling me up. I love them with all my parts and I did that to them. Regardless or permission and the loneliness at that time I still did that to them. I’ve never spoken about it to anyone. They still don’t know and I will never be able to tell them. I’ve not forgiven myself for sleeping with someone else. I don’t even know if it was the act of sleeping with someone else that I feel guilt over, not telling them, or feeling guiltless on the years after when they were still medicated. Once they came back to me I just couldn’t let go of doing something like that to them.

I know that trying to punish myself for feeling all the above is not a complying anything. I realize I’m just hurting myself over something that was a blemish in time. The guilt of the moment has lasted longer than the moment itself. I’m hoping writing this out and sharing it with the world will allow me some peace and maybe let me move past my discrepancy. I’m sure many people will judge me as a horrible person for not telling my spouse or even doing the act. I accept that. Not everyone will understand the loneliness I felt in that time and that’s ok too. I just need peace for myself and to tell someone I guess so I don’t eat myself up anymore and release my guilt.

I said some pretty outta pocket stuff about this person to my friend and the person overheard but pretended like they didn’t and I never got to apologize because I never got a chance to see them again. It’s been 2 almost 3 years now and I just can’t seem to let go of it and it’s just there and I just can’t seen to get rid of this feeling of guilt. It gets suffocating sometimes but even though it’s such a small thing I just cant seem to let it go and it gets so bad when I feel down so I just want to be able to let it go. Thanks for listening. I just want to let it go

I was that toxic friend, the friend who talked bad about others behind their backs, the friend who was jealous of my friends’ successes, the friend who was bitter about life.

I continued to live that way, until in high school, when I had a really bad fall out with one of my best childhood friends, who was with me from kindergarten all the way to high school. The fallout was a pretty big one, and I lost almost everyone I valued in my life. I was crazy at that point, I was still in denial about the fact that I was the one at fault. However after a few months, I started to realised that I, myself, was the one at wrong.

I know that it took me a very long time, and I really regret it so bad. A year after the fall out, I invited my “ex friend” out to give a true heartfelt apology. Surprisingly, she and some of my friends accepted it. However, I knew the damage was already done.

Until this day, 7 years after the fallout, I still feel extremely guilty whenever I see any of my old friends on social media. I can’t imagine why or how they could’ve forgiven me. I’m not sure if they truly did, and I know I don’t deserve their forgiveness. I mean, I was such a horrible person to people around me. and I have literally no way to make up for it.

Hence, whenever I face challenges, hardships or pain in life, I can’t help but feel that I DESERVE IT. I don’t deserve happiness, I don’t deserve the kindness others show me, I don’t deserve anything good in life.

My father hated me and now my son does. I regret going out for a few hours once a week and leaving him and his sister alone when they were about 10. Nothing ever happened and i dont think thats why my son hates me but it still kills me that i did that. I tried to talk to him and apologize but he wants nothing to do with me except to send him money. He is so cruel. It hurts so much

I screwed up at work, big time! I was supposed to hand my clients cash for an incentive for part of our program. Instead, I mailed it to them, after being told not to, so that I wouldn’t have to drive there and make appointments with them. Then, because I had already told my boss that I would bring the clients the cash, I drove to each of their houses anyways, but didn’t actually see them. I just pretended that I had. Now, I’m worried that if the envelopes come back to the office, the whole thing will be found out, and I’ll get fired for being dishonest! It’s all so much guilt and fear and shame. I’m so scared and worried and fearful! I promised God that if each of the clients gets their envelopes and nothing else comes of this, that I would do everything by the book from now on!

Hey Karen! I can relate to your story, I am 32 years old now and I am filled with regrets and shame, being decieved and decieving others. I hope we can connect.

I planned something intimate with someone, but never followed through. I only told one friend about it while drunk. Now the ‘someone’ is saying that I told people I was going to do something else intimate to her, even though that’s not at all true. I didn’t do what I was accused of doing, but I still did something bad by telling my friend. And it’s weighing on me as if I did everything I was accused of doing. I don’t know how to let go and it makes me feel physically sick.

Now the idea of getting drunk or doing something intimate with a girl makes me feel waves of guilt. I can’t let go and it’s affecting how I usually act.

Its easy to look back on minor comments of the past and judge yourself, but please don’t dwell. Its an extremely politically charged time, and as you grow you will learn that these kinds of things are common and not an indictment of your character. There’s a lot of guilt tripping and shaming going around now a days for nothing, and its unfair for you to be hating yourself at such a young age. Life is not as serious as it seems right now. You are wonderful exactly how you are.

Hi, I abandoned my own aged father who wanted to live with me and be cared for. I took him in and then sent him to live alone in his apartment in India. I just never wanted to see him again, but I visited him after a while. He was lonely and never said a word against me and the hurt I imposed on him. He passed away alone. Looking back I do not know why I hurt him so badly. I loved my father and was willing to care until I decided I will not. It was an impulsive decision made rashly and I regret it to this day. I have been asking for forgiveness. I cannot go back and change anything. But I hope my sadness and misery will end. If not, I am not sure if I can even live with the guilt of being a horrible son.

I did apologize for it formally and pay him back shortly after. However, I never apologized in person so I still feel bad about it sometimes and worry it will come back and bite me in the a* somehow someday. He really isn’t the type of guy I want in my life even nowadays (politically and from a mental health perspective he isn’t very stable) so I don’t see the need in trying to arrange an in-person apology for someone I don’t intend to keep in my life afterwards.

I fully admit what I did was stupid and wrong though and present me knows better. I just hope I can 100% move past this in the future.

I will start at 18. I lied about where I was born. Silly right? But in fact I was trying to avoid racism and hateful comments against my country and religion. This led me down a path of deceit.
– then I met a guy who was what I thought my forever man, he actually mentally abused me and his family didn’t like me either. That relationship was destructive he introduced me to drugs and a different path of life we moved in together the relationship got worse, So after a very long time I ended that relationship and moved out.
At 24 my mom was diagnosed with cancer, my father was diagnosed with health problems. After being there for the both of them and trying to hold everyone together I decided to go on a trip to just get away from it all.
– I went to another state to see a friend. He was welcoming nice and a breath of fresh air. But he was just my friend. Unfortunately I decided to party with him and begged him to get drugs and he did He tried his hardest to hook up with me but I was reluctant on the first night. The next day we went out to eat and enjoyed our time together went to the bar and had fun except when I started dancing with another guy he ended up leaving me at the bar and getting a taxi to go home. He ended up coming back for me and we ended up having sex that night ( a part of me feels like he video taped us doing it and I cringe and feel disgusted with myself but there’s no way to prove it.) he started getting all sorts of mixed feelings and wanted me to explain why I was dancing with someone else. Keep in mind we were just friends that hooked up ugh. Anyways I haven’t spoken to him since I got back and left it there but I always wonder if he has a video.

– That same year a few months later a friend of mine was going to go overseas and wanted me to go with her. I agreed and felt I was going to be different. We got to our destination and stayed at a hotel she suggested we go out for a few drinks, I agreed and we went well I got loaded. Ended up meeting a guy and when my friend tried to stop me from being with him I screamed at her and bitched at her and told her she can go back with out me. Long story short I stayed up till morning with this guy wandering the streets looking for my hotel when we found it I brought him back and had unprotected sex with him in the same room and my friend while she laid in the other bed. ( ugh I feel gross even writing this down is bringing up bad memories) long story short I ended up sleeping with 2 more other men unprotected and hooking up with a girl and also was being taken advantage of when I was drunk by one dude that I finally ended pushing away. My friend no longer speaks to me. I would like to tell her how sorry I am for hurting her and mistreating her. I live with these every day of my life. I would like to stop though I’m not sure how.

Fast forward I am 35 married and have children. My husband has no idea of these past mistakes and would like to keep it that way but feel guilty and ashamed throughout my days and some are worse than others. I’m living a nightmare in my head it never stops.

Someone please tell me how can I stop the painful flashbacks of my mistakes and these memories that come and go and it’s these few awful moments in my life that I replay over and over it never goes away.

Please help.

I’ve been really mean and selfish the past few years, I’ve blamed it on my eating disorders, but I’m realizing it’s all my fault. When I dumped my bf I talked s* abt him to alot of people because I was just upset, and o told this one guy I liked him and he said “aren’t you dating him” and I said “not anymore”, he ofc rejected me, the gut I had a crush on since I was 13. Anyways after this whole ordeal o felt like a total s*. And this girls bf kept flirting with me and we were friend’s, but I talked abt boys with him so he’d get the hint. I also ditched my best friend at the time bc another girl told me nobody liked her and that I let her walk all over me. I also had a fake ig account to find out who this one girl was dating, didn’t work out. I told this girl she smelled bad. And then the same girl who told me to ditch my best friend, decided she thinks I’m toxic and started saying shit about me and told my friends not to talk to me anymore. I called her a coward to my friend, she told her. And then she texts me out of nowhere telling me I’m an awful person and that I can never change. I trusted her and told her my secrets and now I’m so scared she’ll tell everyone. This is when I realized I’ve been a b* and I need to change. These are the worst things that I have ever done. And they eat away at me every day and night. I would apologize to them. But I’m sure they’d all gossip even more.