Comments on: Understanding and Solving Feelings of Apathy https://twx.atlantacounseling.com/blog/understanding-and-solving-feelings-of-apathy/ Client-Centric Counseling and Life Coaching Mon, 17 Aug 2020 16:22:58 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=5.5.5 By: Carol https://twx.atlantacounseling.com/blog/understanding-and-solving-feelings-of-apathy/#comment-127020 Mon, 17 Aug 2020 16:22:58 +0000 https://twx.atlantacounseling.com/?p=61252#comment-127020 In reply to AnitaTaco.

Anita, I can absolutely relate to your story. I was married to my husband for 24 years. We have two daughters together. My husband became very depressed and accused me of all sorts of things. It broke our relationship. When he finally got better. He was never the same. He was indifferent did not want to go to counseling to repair all the damage in our relationship. After two years of begging him to work on it and beating my head against the wall. I sold our home and went out and rented a house with just my daughter and I hoping that would give him the wake up call to fight for me and our relationship. No just made him mad. By the time he finally came around we were divorced and I just could not get the love back. No respect for him, lack of drive, no feeling of partnership. I had worked far to much for far too long to settle for this and I am a positive energetic fun person. I did not want to live life with someone who was negative and not pulling the cart with me. If he doesn’t change be direct be honest about your needs and if he does not change get out! I did and have found a new amazing partner.

]]> By: Can’t say https://twx.atlantacounseling.com/blog/understanding-and-solving-feelings-of-apathy/#comment-126840 Mon, 10 Aug 2020 22:20:00 +0000 https://twx.atlantacounseling.com/?p=61252#comment-126840 In reply to AnitaTaco.

Wow this was definitely needed I’m going through similar things. Except we’ve been together for 1 year vs 9 years. Feeling super down.

]]> By: AnitaTaco https://twx.atlantacounseling.com/blog/understanding-and-solving-feelings-of-apathy/#comment-125731 Wed, 08 Jul 2020 00:09:23 +0000 https://twx.atlantacounseling.com/?p=61252#comment-125731 They say the opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference. I think that is so true! Indifference, apathy, ambivalence, they all suck the life out of even the most vibrant people and relationships if allowed to. My husband has allowed it to dull his light down to the dimmest possible, with only an occasional flicker able to shine through once in awhile. It’s so unfortunate that people really have to figure things out on their own, like when adults told us as teenagers to do or not do certain things. We didn’t listen, we had to crash and burn for ourselves before we understood. I’ve told him before that it may not feel like it, but it’s his decision how he views and ultimately feels about the world, life, me, our marriage, etc. Things have a way of becoming self fulfilling prophecies, if one thinks the worst of someone, they usually get it, but the reverse is also true! Positivity is absolutely infectious as well!

I truly hope he will decide he has the power to change the way he views life right now. It’s going on 3.5 years of this purgatory and for me, it’s hell. To be with someone that so wholly and voraciously loved you that now barely cares if they speak a word to you in a day is just heartbreaking. We stayed in the honeymoon period far, far longer than most. The first 8 or 9 years were euphoric, getting along famously, and I never had a single thought that 4 years later I would be considering divorce as my last resort. He tells me I should keep trying, that he would keep trying. I have to remind him that hes not trying though and that’s the problem. So I’m suppose to just be willing to beat my head against a wall unending & being the only one that cares enough to try to save this thing? That’s crazy! I cannot be in a relationship for the rest of my life where I love more than I’m loved, I want him more than I’m wanted, & I give so much more than I’m given. Especially not since I know what he’s capable of, I tell him its insulting when he I sista he’s still IN love like I am because I know how it feels when he’s IN love with me. This isn’t even a shadow of that. I tell him, I’m not trying to change him, or ask for things he never had given, I simply want the love and affection of the man that convinced me to marry him based on the quality of those aspects he willingly & freely gave for 9 years.
I said go to the DR. If you need to, figure it out because this isn’t normal. He swears it isn’t resentment but I have a hard time believing it. He found an amazing job that pays a lot and they adore him, he loves it, so it isn’t that. I just don’t know and can’t drive myself crazy over it anymore. My self esteem has plummeted, it’s hard not to internalize it as being about me directly when I’m the aspect that takes the worst blow. (Not literally, I don’t want it to sound like he abuses me or anything of that sort. Even though emotional abandonment isn’t a fun ride to be on, I’m not going to lump it in with physical, serious abuse)

Sometimes it’s nice to just to get it out there and out of my head. I know it’s nice to find articles like this and see in the comments I’m not the only one dealing with it. Maybe I can at least be that for someone else.

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