For me it really helps if I write down the events of the day every night because then when they try to tell me that things that happened didn’t happen or things that I did something I didn’t do I can refer back to the notebook and even though I don’t argue back I can know on the inside that I’m not crazy or stupid or ‘making stuff up’.

Other things I do to help is to make sure I’m taking care of myself as best I can. So after they go to bed I read a little bit out of a favorite book or sip some warm milk. I also have a friend who lives a few hours away that I talk to on the phone sometimes and she always brings a smile to my face.

If you’re open to it, you might find it nice to open yourself up to a higher power now or then. That’s completely up to you and it doesn’t work for everyone, which is okay.

You should also know that what I have to say does not replace the advice of a mental health professional and I highly advise you to seek out the help of one. They can help you find coping skills that work for you in your situation.

It is important to keep your own wellbeing in mind especially when there are others in the household you care about. It is no doubt hard to think of yourself when you have siblings being hurt to but you can’t help them until you help yourself. It’s like the airplane analogy: you have to put the oxygen mask on yourself before your kid because you can put the mask on an unconscious child but an unconscious you can’t put the mask on anybody.

Lastly, I want you to know that you are not alone. There are people you can talk to that will really listen and there are places you can go where it’s safe for you to talk about your situation. There is absolutely no shame in seeking help and guidance.

Hi, I’m also a kid and I’m just wondering if this is gaslighting or anything: so my mom usually blames Me a ton and makes me thinking I’m the bad one. And while she’s treating my youngest sister as a queen and never gets her in trouble, me and my brother get yelled at everyday and when we say something actually very nice to my sister, my mom and dad starts telling me my voice is off and that I can’t process emotions very well. She also says in our family fights that “it isn’t all about me” and I wasn’t saying anything about that, then when I say something back she says: “EXCUSE ME?” Also, my mom and dad act like the best parents when we see other family or is in public… And everyday my dad locks himself in his office the entire day and drinks beer, or treats my little sister like a queen also… I was just wondering and please let me know what kind of abuse this is… thanks for listening to my story!

Yep, agree that the best thing to do is find a trustworthy adult that you can confide in. But in the meantime, whilst you might not be able to stop it from happening, what you can do is find ways to keep your mind clear. One of the best pieces of advice I got was that ‘you can’t always control other people’s behaviour, but you can nearly always control your own reaction to other people’s behaviour’. I know it’s may be easier said than done not to let it get to you, but the important thing is to check in with yourself and acknowledge to yourself what really happened, don’t lose sight of the reality, even if it is uncomfortable. Because in the long run the truth will set you free. One of the great things about childhood is that it is temporary; you will become an adult, and then you will have more options. In my teens, I had a calendar where I would literally count down the days until I was able to get away. Each day was a day less than the last (obviously lol), and so each day got a little more optimistic. And the big day eventually came. And in time your moment will come too. Once I had gone, I had decided to sever ties. Numerous people tried to convince me not to, but they were all people that didn’t really know the reality of what I had gone through, so that’s why it’s really important to keep your head. So that when the time comes, you can make the decision that is right for you. I have seen my father just once since then, at a family funeral, and even though we didn’t speak that day, it was still a powerful confrontation of sorts, because he saw that, despite his best efforts over the years to destroy me, I was far stronger than he had estimated, I was alive & well and, goodness forbid, I was happy. I think he realised in that moment that his game was over, and that I had won. There was a time when I never thought that would happen, but it did. I survived, and I’m relatively unscathed. It can be done. You can do it too.

There’s tons of online therapy now, i also do mentoring via Facebook and working on creating my own online therapy support. (I am a certified professional counselor)

You absolutely can, and you must. As an adult now of a narcissist mother, it caused me extreme issues growing up because the problems weren’t being fixed and because i kept my mouth closed. First try talking to your mom, dad or other family about the situation. If that doesn’t help go to your school counselor, teacher, principal to help in the right direction. Wishing you all the luck. No matter what, know who you are and stay firm in that. Also you can start writing things down as they happen to later reference. Even better for texting, video or audio recording as backup. Not only for your own sanity (as i have to still do this as an adult and cannot go near my mother unless i am recording the entire time) you can also call 211 on your phone to reach a local counselor at any time!

dont hold your breath on what I say, im a kid going through that too, but what I do is sign up for after school activities, so I have some time after school where I’m treated like a human. if you see a therapist, tell him/her. talk to someone who you know wont make a rash decision, you need to think everything out, because your safety is #1. I wouldn’t contact police, for me, all they did was worsen the situation. if you need to talk, please reply, im here for you.

talk to your counselors at school. they can help you find further help/resources.

One of the best things someone ever told me is – “You’ll know when your lines have been crossed”
This statement;
-put faith in my ability to see and protect my own boundaries
-gave me the courage to perceive them

Once you see, it’s easy to say – I need help. My problem now is the time…how do I make time to go talk to a trusted professional? I just keep it in my head that I will, I suppose.