I lost my husband of 33 yrs in jan 2021. He died during an ugly fight with our son. We had a dysfunctional family. The fights of last two years have made me not remember any good time we had. He had stopped communicating from last two years. I wanted the marriage to last and he passed away suddenly. Can’t get over his loss. I had no life other than he. Devastated plz share some thoughts

We’re so sorry to read what you’re going through. If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts, or thinking about hurting yourself or others, please seek immediate help. Call 911, go to your closest emergency room, or call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-8255. You can also visit their website at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org. This national network of local crisis centers provides free support, and someone is always available to talk.

You can also find a list of other helpful resources here, such as the Crisis Text Line, National Domestic Violence Hotline, and more. Remember, life can get better with the right help. https://twx.atlantacounseling.com/immediate-help/

I feel the same way as my daughter is only 9 I as well have to wait.

I totally understand how you feel. I’m so sorry for your list I’ve just lost my husband on Jan 29-2021 still very fresh.

Yes you feel like you are just surviving, I feel like a zombie like an empty shell. I’ve lost my husband on Jan 29-2021 we’ve been together for 27 beautiful years, I’ve thought about suicide many many times.

God bless you. I feel the same dying and tired of living without him. I ask God to give me strength to go on, but without my husband I can’t find a reason to care. I hope and pray life will pass quickly so I can see him again.

Thank you for this writing. I lost my husband to Covid, that destroyer, 6 weeks ago. It hurts so much, and I do not feel like the same person. I am lost. But, I felt better reading your comments. The memory of watching him stop breathing and seeing his face turn white just break my heart. I wish I could forget the pain this causes me. He and I were married 52 years. How do you live without your spouse? I am just surviving.

I know how you feel. I am having trouble coming to terms with my husband’s death. Now and then, I am granted a break from the pain as I get involved with necessary activities and obligations I have. (Work, handling affairs etc). I try very hard to remember that I was not singled out for this great loss. Then I remember that we all will have our time to die as well and that it is part of life. Then I try to erase the last worst moments and remember the lifetime of good memories and realize that they count the most and that our beloved husbands want us to take care of things here on earth now as that is important to him as well as my children and grandchildren. I imagine him looking down on me with approval and confidence that I am going to handle necessary things here until it is my time to depart. That is all sometimes difficult to do, but I keep trying to remember those things and it helps with the pain and sorrow. I also am aware that we feel pain & sorry because we had something so special in life to love, and many people die without knowing such a treasure.

I feel exactly as you do, as if I wrote your comment. It helps to see that other people also feel what I do, because it’s hard to talk to friends and family about this who don’t really understand fully what I am going through and have not experienced this.

We’re so sorry to read what you’re going through. If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts, or thinking about hurting yourself or others, please seek immediate help. Call 911, go to your closest emergency room, or call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-8255. You can also visit their website at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org. This national network of local crisis centers provides free support, and someone is always available to talk.

You can also find a list of other helpful resources here, such as the Crisis Text Line, National Domestic Violence Hotline, and more. Remember, life can get better with the right help. https://twx.atlantacounseling.com/immediate-help/

loosing someone you love is very difficult, my 2 daughters 12 yrs and 9 years died on the 12th October 2020. Their father burn the house with him together with my kids and they died. i feel like i don’t want to live anymore am in so much pain

God is not real, If he is, he punishes good people and rewards the bad, I totally agree with you “I wish I was dead 🙁

I lost a lot of my faith when my son died in June 2020, mad as hell and question f God really excists, my pain will never go away, so sorry for you

my son, Marc passed away from cardiac arrest during the night on June 22nd 2020, he just turned 40 the week before.
I miss and think of him every minute of every day since, I will never be the same person I was the day before his died, all I want is to be with him but I am grateful for having the most supportive and loving husband in the world, however I will never accept Marc not being here with me and am very angry at God for taking my only loving child away from me, I had enough loss in my life already, this was the last straw 🙁 RIP Baby, hope to see you soon, Hugs to Heaven…Mom

I feel just as you say some days DOING SOMETHING SILLY !!!! But his live for me helps stop me and a wonderful son who has stood by me thank god thank you for the wise words l am tired of living with out my husband derrick Stephens lm broken basically ❤️

I keenly understand the sentiments expressed here. My husband and I were hit head on by a drunk driver on our way home from church one Wednesday night. I was seriously injured but he was killed.That was four years ago and I keep waiting for the pain to lessen but it does not. If anything, it gets worse as I face the rest of my life without the love of my life. We did everything together and each lived to bring joy to the other. He is in my thoughts and on my mind every minute of every day! Like others I would never commit suicide because of my children but all the joy and the beautiful colors are gone from my life. My close friends have been wonderful but after awhile I could see them becoming tired of the sadness so I have quit sharing. I went to counseling for the first two years but it didn’t do anything for the unbearable painful ache in my heart. My husband’s death has caused me to have to live on half of our previous income so I cannot afford to search for an effective counselor. I just want those of you who are in the same situation to know that you are not alone. Not that that really solves anything. I pray every night that God will take me soon and I will be reunited with my precious husband for eternity!!

I feel the same I lost the love of my life 2 weeks and 3 days ago and don’t know what to do

My husband of 46 years passed away September 29, 2020 and yes, each day is hard as I miss him terribly. Oddly, my sister, with whom I did not have a prior close relationship has given me hope. She lost her 15 year old son in 2013 and her husband about 2 years later. Both died in her home. When I think of her and see how she has coped with her grief, I know there is hope. She told me that for about 14 months, she was really sad, but now she wakes up each morning and is no longer sad. She sees things that remind her of her son and husband, but smiles at the happy memories that she shared with them.

Just yesterday I found some old letters my husband had written me when he was deployed for Desert Storm 29 years ago. In almost every letter, he was concerned that our youngest son, who was 5 at the time, would not remember him. I cried at first when I found the letters, and then I smiled as our son is now 35 and shared a very close relationship with his Father for 30 years hence. Those are life’s gifts that we are given in sharing a close, loving relationship with another. Many people never experience the kind of love I had with him. As they say, grief is really a selfish emotion, and I try to count my blessings as often as I can whenever I feel depressed about his death. There are so many people who never get the experience of loving someone so deeply for so long. God gave me that gift.

This is a crook of s* let me know when you get a loss

Mr. Gibson stop looking for meaning when you are exhausted. Breathe the air and look for peace during the storm. “learn to dance in the rain”. Your life changed not for better nor for worse, but simply changed. Your life was filled with fruits with your wife, return the favor and respect that nothing will last forever, get up in the morning and care for yourself let it be a small breakfast or a walk around the block early in the morning. Believe in yourself that you can do it even though it may seem impossible. I’m a stranger from the internet but I do believe in you Mr. Gibson. I wish you an extra smile a day.

Hi Diane..my husband passed away on July 7/2020…I am, at this moment, crying uncontrollably as I do every day..we were married for 54 years…how am I supposed to get to live without him.

My husband and I were 54 years married as well:)

I hear you Diane, it has now been 19 months since my husband had a bike accident, so fast, no time to prepare. I am still in denial yet every time I come home he is not here, he will never go with me anywhere. The only positive thing is I see my children carrying on with their lives. I know they hurt but they are surviving. I know if something happened to me, they would go on raising their families, laughing, travelling, celebrating special occasions, the same as my husband and I did. We had each other, we could get thru the worse of times together, I need a hug from him so badly.
I get up each morning waiting for the day to be over.

I enjoy nothing, care about very little, I want “us” back. “they” say I will get thru it some day, never over it just through it. What do they know, life is not a gift it is a curse.

Please know Diane I feel what you are feeling, I get it. It is hard to find people who get it.

I’ve found that reading good inspirational books has helped me make a little progress, I’d recommend Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself by Joe Dispenza and Beat Depression and Anxiety by Changing Your Brain by Debbie Hampton.

Also I’m noticing that eating healthily and getting more exercise helps to lift my mood. Drinking alcohol definitely makes me feel more depressed for some days afterwards. Loneliness is still a big issue, but I”m working on that ‘as much as possible right now!).

I’d like to ask what suggestions anyone might have for what really helps with the healing and recovery from loss. Thanks for any ideas and advice x

Dear Wish I was Dead, So very sorry for your loss. But please consider: Those of us older people who are single and childless may never know your pain. But we also possibly will never know the joy and fulfillment you had when he was alive, or the fulfillment you have as a mother. We will never have what you have. I know it may sound strange, but I envy you. You are mother to a child who is part of you, and part of the man you loved so deeply. I can’t imagine what it feels like to be you, but I would give almost anything to have what you have. We are all fortunate to be alive, and must nurture a deep gratitude for all we do have. One of my favorite poems is by Khalil Jibran. Part of it goes: “When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow which is giving you joy./When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which had been your delight.” I wish you peace, and joy in your daughter and the life you have. I believe God is taking care of you and your family.

You are wise to realize that you are so lucky to have had him and to have experienced so deep a love. Some of us have never known that deep a romantic love.

Hi Hanadi,

I’m very sorry to hear of your loss.

We are similar in age and I just wanted to share with you some insights I’ve had.

I lost my best friend about 3 years ago. I know this isn’t the same as losing a parent, every relationship is unique. However he was the person I felt closest to in this world and we were friends since we were kids.

Grief is a hard road. I’m still struggling with it a few years down the line and it’s what brought me to this article. I miss my friend and the years more of life we could have had together.

I know though that, as painful as it is and as hard as losing a loved one is and will continue to be, my friend wouldn’t want me to suffer. And I’m sure your dad wouldn’t either. So please take care of yourself, get help if you need to, and do your best to get through each and every day even though you might be feeling down. The pain will lessen over time, even though it might never disappear and it might flare up sometimes.

I believe we’ll always miss our loved ones who’ve died but we can honour our bonds and also grow into a new life where we learn to live without them. Not because we want to, but because they’d want us to be happy.

Take care.

Karen, I also lost my son, 18 to suicide this past June. Your words are my feelings exactly. I also have one other son that wakes me up every morning. My heart also physically aches/hurts. Have you been able to do household chores, or return to work yet? I cant stand to be in my house, shortly after I awake I sit on my deck, and I have not returned to work yet.