By: Call me Frank for now

Call me Frank for now — Wed, 25 Jul 2018 04:42:15 +0000

My long term girlfriend and I have decided to be friends. We she decided since she stopped treating me with respect. I love her so I agreed to the friendships. I was very angry my whole life and recently found the source of the anger and I am able to handle situations much better and am happier all around. Unfortunately I’ve also been able to see my relationship clearly for the first time and realized she has not wanted to be with me for years. I was so rapped up in the rollercoaster of the relationship my professional life has suffered not to mention moving in and out multiple times took my bank account away. A trifecta of bad luck on top of my already shaky life was blamed on me and I’ve been put down when i needed support from her. I heard someone talking about narcissism and fold a lot but not all similar traits in my ex now friend and I was surprised to seen on I also unknowingly was doing. The difference between us is I can admit I doing it and she blames me for everything and cannot admit anything she does. I went home to Arizona to get out of Vegas after I quit a great job. Before I left I was so angry I believe I was a danger to everyone and anyone. I found out a decision I made as a child affected my whole life. I made a decision to turn all my sadness and pain into anger and I did so for 33 years. I was able to look at everything differently including being homeless and from a broken home and all the tragedies in my life became victorious not tragedy. I only need to remember the hardships to smile at the problems today. So for me I would like to make sure this decision wont cause unwanted emotions later on and I would like to finally get to the bottom of my exgirlfriends issues. If I am the cause of everything like she says then I will handle it. But she also expressed to me that she is able to disregard emotions such as sadness or hurt and can carry on without any issue almost immediately. I on the other hand try to resolve issues and she gets upset if I try talking about them. So I’ve tolerated a lot of issues that she believes is perfectly normal and they are wrong on so many levels. Like keeping guy friends a secret and continuing to hang out after her friends Express interest in her. She agrees to go out on one and one dates knowing they want more than friends and says it’s there problem because she already told them about me. Know I compromised after breaking it off in the beginning and set boundaries that she agreed to. After a year of keeping her word she decided to break the boundaries which was simply keep me informed. She believes I am imprisoning her and I’m over jealous. Then she has nothing but negative things to say to me and says I’m negative. She’ll put me down and tell me I’m thinking off the wall crap and say I have a anger problem when she has screened at me for stopping at a gas station without informing her before hand. Again this is justified because I screamed first when I never did. I will attempt to ask her about some of these odd outbursts when she is cool. That’s right sometimes she is wonderful and loving.she doesn’t recognize the situation and denies any wrongdoing. Then you guessed it blames me. Needless to say my life was out of control from the ups and downs of the relationship. I want to make sure she is ok even though we are no longer together because I do love her and I want her to get better if possible so I can leave her better than I found her. I would be lying if I said I didn’t want to say I told you so and get a big apology from her but it’s doubtful. So where do I fit in? Also I’ve been using drugs and used to drink a lot and yes up until recently welcomed death and hated everyone. Now she is one of few friends I can count on and I can. I would like to be happier and be able to start over in life but i really am starting to not give a flying fuck again. Well I was pretty happy until I wanted to return her cellphone and forgave her. No I’m down and sad. I don’t want to get angry again because I just let go of so much rage and it almost killed me. Who do I or we need to see?

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By: Call me Frank for now